Split Levels SUCK

When we took the plunge and started our home search in Delaware that sad, sad day back in 2004, my only criteria were central air, a garage, a dining room and definitely NOT a split level.  2 out of 4 isn't that bad, right?  We have heavenly central air (and thank God for it with the damn barking dogs in the neighborhood!), a t00-small garage packed with various and sundry crap and no dining room, all in the dreaded split level which was the only thing we could reasonably afford in the best school district in northern DE.

Why didn't I want a split level?  Basically, because I think they are ugly and choppy.  Ours is pretty nice as splits go but still, the family room is tiny and I hate all of the steps all over the place.  Plus, they are tough to heat which is especially sucky with the cost of energy these days.  What I didn't realize is how ridiculously noisy they are!  It amazes me how sound travels in a split level home.  This is a huge big deal now that Bonnie has arrived.

Bon is in the smallest bedroom which is at the top of the stairs, 7 short steps away from the central mayhem of the living room and directly above the family room.  It's like trying to sleep in the middle of Penn Station on the Sunday after Thanksgiving.  I spend my day shushing and whisper-screaming in a vain attempt to keep The Biggies quiet and her asleep.  It rarely works and I'm often ready to kill them.  I actually threatened them with sleep-over daycare earlier today.  (Daycare is the big threat around here these days.  God forbid I ever have to go back to work and put them in DC for real -- they would wonder what they did to deserve it!  It's just really hard to let go of a threat that is mostly effective, doesn't warrant a CPS visit and probably won't require psychotherapy someday.)

It's so not fair to them.  Kids shouldn't have to whisper and tiptoe around their own home.  The problem is that there is nowhere they can play in the house where Bonnie won't hear them as clearly as if they were standing next to her crib.  The result is that we watch a lot of TV during naptime, way more than I would like.  I've tried art projects but they get noisy as do board games (what doesn't get noisy when Jack "Bullhorn Mouth" Tobin is involved???)  Sucks that it has to be this way but, for now, it does.  If Bonnie doesn't sleep well during the day, she doesn't sleep well at night.  If she doesn't sleep well at night, Mommy doesn't sleep well at night.  If Mommy doesn't sleep well at night, everybody is in trouble the next day and nobody wants that.