Because She Said So

My friend was lamenting via her blog about how she is turning into her mother based on some of the things she says to her kids out of frustration. I'm glad I'm not the only one morphing into her mother in trying times! Granted, I had a great Mom and I even realized that when I was a child living under her regime but still, there are things I swore I'd never say/do that are totally in my vernacular now. I feel like I'm in The Twilight Zone with the way I relive conversations from 30 years ago but from the opposite perspective. Here is the most common scenario:

"Mooooo-oooom! I can't find my shoes/doll/truck/cup/robe!"

"Check the closet/shelf/toybox/table/doorknob!"

"It's not there!"

"Yes, it is!"

"NO, it's NOT!"

"Yes. It. IS!!! I know because I put it there myself!"

"But I can't find it!!!"

"Okay, I'll come in there and look but if I find it, I'm going to hit you with it, alright?"

*dead silence*

"Never mind, Mom. Here it is!"

Before your fingers do the walking to call CPS, please know that I would never actually hit them with ANYTHING including my hand or a wet noodle (my paternal grandmother used to threaten that one. WTF???) The mere threat stops them in their tracks and miraculously cures their temporary blindness which is my goal. Thanks, Mom!