Scattered Thoughts

Scattered...that describes the state of mind I'm in these days.  You know I'm a mess when I can't even gather myself enough to blog out the crazy in me.

• Lack of sleep is making me stupid and dangerous.  I carefully used potholders to take a corningware dish out of the over last week, set it on a trivet and then promptly took the lid off with my bare hands.  Three burned, throbbing fingers later, I was running my hands under cold water when Tom found me crying over the kitchen sink.  He thought the pain caused the tears but it was actually my horror that I could do someting that dumb.  Yesterday, I searched EVERYWHERE for my keys which I'd had 2 hours beforehand.  Not finding them anywhere, I was convinced that the mailman or a psychotic drifter found them still in the front door lock and would be back to gut us all that night.  Where were they?  In a potted plant next to the stairs.  I don't know, I just don't know what to say about that.

• In this week's edition of "Does Christy Have Gestational Diabetes?", there was sugar in my urine sample at the OB's office yesterday.  That was a first and made me nervous when she said it was there.  The words to follow were hardly a comfort:  "We see this sometimes in Moms who eat cereal for breakfast so watch your morning carbs but it's no big deal since you aren't a diabetic."  *insert the sound of my maniacal cackle*  Apparently, this week, she has decided my blood test numbers don't signify a problem so I'm good to go.  This pregnancy can't be over quickly enough, I swear to all things good and holy.

• Speaking of the pregnancy, I had an ultrasound yesterday to estimate Baby's weight.  Seemed like a huge waste of time and resources since I'm having a c-section regarless of the outcome but it turned out to be worthwhile since the tech did a quick but thorough anatomy scan as a bonus.  I got to see all of Sheemee's parts and everything looked good.  No thickening in the area of the heart that sometimes happens with children of diabetic mothers and the amniotic fluid levels were normal which can also be an issue with GD.  That really put my mind at ease.  She has all of her fingers and toes, brain stem looked good, no cleft lip, full bladder means functioning kidneys...I can't remember the rest but basically she is anatomically perfect.  My little bruiser measured 8lbs 4oz, give or take 10%, which puts her in the 95th percentile for her gestational age.  The tech said she is on the high side of normal weight but well proportioned so that is good news.  She also said that her butt is right up against my belly button and her head is way down and resting on my bladder.  Tell me something I didn't know, lady.  It explains why I look like I'm riding a horse when I walk.

• I think I hate the name Bonnie.  This baby is Sheemee to me!  Obviously, we can't name her that but when people talk to me about Bonnie, I have no idea who they mean at first.  I wanted Elizabeth in the beginning b/c I LOVE Ellie but we changed to Bonnie when Jack suggested that.  There are several names I really like, most of which Tom hates.  Even if I could get his buy-in on a different name, I don't know if I can change my mind at this late date though.  This sucks.  Jack is the quintessential JACK to me -- fair, blue-eyed, happy-go-lucky, All-American boy.  It's perfect for him and I can't imagine him as anything else.  Natalie is a pretty name and I don't regret that choice but I could see her as Emily or Olivia or another girly-girl name so I don't feel like we hit a home run there.  I want to start this baby off with a good name, the right name for her, and it's stressing me out.  I have to get a look at her before I write Bonnie on the hospital paperwork.

• This nasty stomach virus that is making the rounds has me losing sleep.  I really don't want the kids to get it and I REALLY don't want myself to get.  Vomiting = dehydration = early labor which my poor, paper-thin uterus might not survive.  When we went to the ped earlier this week, I made the kids stand in the waiting room with their hands at their sides rather than touch something that might be carrying germs and we rode home in a cloud of anti-bacterial gel.  3 weeks to sweat out getting some kind of illness that will make my section recovery that much more difficult.  I threw up after having Natalie and the pain in my incision was like nothing I can describe.  I live in fear of getting a cough while I'm recovering.  OMG, just the thought of that agony makes me sweat.