Sweet Freedom. Or Not.

I haven't had a moment alone in my house since before Bonnie was born. (The last time was 12:05 - 1:20 p.m on February 20 in case you are curious.) So today, rather than spending a nice afternoon at my In-Law's house, I decided to stay home and send the kids with Tom. Without me. His first time with them all on his own outside of the house. My first time having him having them all on his own outside of the house. Yikes.

It seemed like a great idea when I dreamed it up this morning (when I was up early with the baby AGAIN while he slept in. AGAIN.) Hell, at that point, it seemed like an awesome idea. I wondered why I didn't pack their bags and send them to sleep over last night!

Now, though...hmmm...not so awesome.

It's so quiet here.

So very, very quiet.

Nobody is asking for snacks, sucking on my hair or trying to talk me into yet another cartoon an educational children's program. I just noticed that they forgot their cups which will be a mini-catastrophe and Jack didn't take my Nintendo DS so he'll whine incessantly about how long the car ride is. Hopefully, that won't distract Tom too much while he's driving. Hopefully, Bonnie will sleep the whole way. Hopefully, it's too early for drunk drivers to be out on the road with my precious loveys.

I should have gone. Who cares about spider webs in the laundry room? It would be weird if I hopped in the Jetta and chased after them, right? Right. Weird.

Don't get me wrong, I trust my husband. He is probably more careful with them than I am because I'm more familiar with what they can and cannot do. It's all of the factors that are out of his hands that I don't trust. Why? Because they have knocked me flat in the past and so I spend my life holding my breath, waiting for the next punch.

St. Christopher, I know you aren't a saint anymore and I know I don't pray but please, keep an eye on my family today. They are everything to me.

Off to banish the cobwebs! And maybe nap. You know, to get my mind off of my irrational worries.