Thursday, November 6, 2008

Playdate Ponderings Part Two

First, can I just say that I hate the term "playdate"?  Hate it like I hate pork chops, Mucinex ads and The NRA.  Anyway...

E's mom called tonight, asking to schedule another playdate.  Last time she proposed one, I was a nervous wreck and quickly shot down the idea of Jack going to her house.  We met at a playground instead and it was fine.  Tonight, she suggested that Jack come home with her after soccer tomorrow.  No, no, a thousand times NO!!!  The thought horrifies me.  There is no way I'm sending my five year old off in a stranger's car to a stranger's house.  She's a nice woman, kind of quiet but nice and seemingly normal for whatever that is worth.  Actually, that's not worth much at all because one hour spent with a person while being distracted by two kids running in opposite directions and a headache does not give me nearly the information I need to feel confident enough to leave Jack with her.

I thought she had older children because of how casual she is about the whole "let me take your son, it's no big deal" thing.  Nope, E is her oldest at age 5.  She has 2 year old triplets.  Why on earth would she want to bring in another child with that circus going on?  That alone makes me think she might be a bit loopy.  So I made excuses for tomorrow.  Tom has been out of town all week and won't get in until around midnight tonight.  He's going to try to get out of work a bit early tomorrow to spend some time with the kids who have really been missing him.  Unlikely but it made a good excuse.  Thank God I can think on my feet.  Of course, she is open all of next week so I wasn't off the hook.  I said how about we meet at a playground on Monday?  Nonconfrontational wimp that I am, I told her that Jack might be nervous about riding in a car without me in his current state of heightened safety awareness which might be true but probably isn't.  So, Madam and I will be tagging along on Jack's big day with E and I'll be forced to chitchat while wishing we were there by ourselves or even better, home on the couch watching Scooby-Doo while I snooze between them.

I feel like doing this about as much as I feel like getting a bikini wax but Jack loves this kid.  I don't want to deprive him of a friend but there is no way Jack is going in their car to their house.  NO WAY.  Why doesn't she get that?  This is one of those instances where I don't feel like I can be too careful.  Jack is young, trusting and vulnerable.  At this point, my most important job is keeping him safe and helping him learn how the world works.  I don't think I'd be doing my job if I sent him off with her.  Do I need to just say that to her?  I don't want to be insulting or offensive but seriously, I'd never ever expect a stranger to send their kid off with me.  Why does she?  It boggles my mind.

2 comments:

TallGirlsAdventures said...

I'm with ya, sister. And maybe you do have to just tell her you're not comfortable with the solo playdate concept yet. You never know -- she might even be relieved by that. I mean, perhaps she's been reading parenting blogs that tell her this is the way it's done, and she's all sweaty-palms thinking about having another child in the house, too.

(And I'm also with ya on the hatred of Mucinex ads, for the record.)

Jenny B said...

I too would tell her. Just stick with Jack may be nervous without you. I certainly would be comfortable saying that I have reservation about him driving in another person's car. I'm just thinking, with four kids (and carseats) where would he sit anyway?