It's a Heartache

Jack was very excited when I picked him up from the Thanksgiving feast.  The turkey slices earned a sigh and an eyeroll rather than the screeching I expected.  He is really maturing and it makes me proud.  All was happy until he got to The Big Thing that happened this morning.  Apparently after Pilgrim Jack exchanged friendship bracelets with Indian Ellie, the love of his life since last spring's semester, she decided that she doesn't want to be his friend anymore.  I asked him if he knew why and he said, "I don't know, Mom.  Maybe it's because I follow her around everywhere.  I just can't help it.  I'm so in love with her."    *paging the janitorial staff to please clean up the puddle of sobbing Mommy off the floor of the church vestibule*  I told him that today was his last day of school before a long weekend break (teacher conferences for the next 2 days) and that he'd only be in school 2 days next week so that maybe by the time school starts back up in December, Ellie would realize that she missed her buddy Jack.  (Then again, maybe not.)  Blessed with his father's optimism, my sweet boy perked up and headed to the car, chattering happily about the fun we will have on his vacation from school and how great it will be to see Ellie again at the next soccer lesson.

There is that expression -- maybe from The Bible? -- about the sins of the father, etc.  Well, what about the sins of the mother?  If they come into play, my boy will suffer big time.  I was never a Mean Girl, actually I was once (I'm so sorry, Steve A.!!!) but I couldn't stomach the guilt my thoughtlessness caused me and the hurt it caused him.  Even as a basically nice girl, though, I wouldn't have given a sweet, sensitive guy like Jack a second glance.  His combination of sunny-needy worship is very fulfilling to me as his mother but that kind of slavish devotion in a boyfriend sent me running as far and as fast as possible every time.  I was all about dark, deep, sarcastic, wounded, with the occasional glimpse of a good heart.  Think Angel from Buffy, Chuck from Gossip Girl.  Don't sing me songs, don't write me poetry and don't draw me cutesy pictures if you want me around.  I won't name names to protect the innocent but there are perfectly nice guys out there who would attest that doing that kind of schmaltzy stuff had me there at the start of the first verse and replaced by a puff of dust by the chorus like The Roadrunner on a tear.  I wanted a challenge like "they" say guys do and I also wanted someone I could fix, someone who would indulge my maternal instincts long before I was actually ready to be a mother.  So, yeah, Ellie is only 5 but I still remember who I liked at that age and he was bad.  Pull-my-pigtails bad.  Flip-my-skirt-up bad.  Time-outs-in-the-nursery-school-library bad.  If Miss Ellie is frolicking down that path away from the Jacks of her generation, she's going to shed a lot of useless tears on guys who aren't worth it.  Hopefully, she'll wise up and find herself a good boy with a glint of mischief and humor in his eyes like I did, one who will love her faithfully while keeping her on her toes, kiss her on the forehead to show her that she is cherished then smack her on the ass to remind her that she only thinks she is the one running the show.  One like my Tommy Boy, an excellent role model for the man Jack will become.

So take heart, my son.  She may not want to be your friend now and I know that hurts but there are plenty of fish in the sea.  Just keep smiling and keep dancing -- the girls will love you for it and you will never lack true friends.