Freak Day at the Playground

Good Lord, playing outside can be so stressful!

Most days, I take the kids to a playground after school.  They run their sillies out before sitting down for a quiet lunch.  I get some online time while they eat.  It's a win for all of us.

Today we went to the playground across the street from Jack's preschool.  It's not the best of our many options but it's safe enough and they love to run the imaginary bases on the adjacent baseball field.  Jack was in heaven because there was another little boy playing when we got there and said boy had a giant dump truck with him.  If DE allowed same-sex marriages, my boy would have been down on one knee then and there.  Jack and his new BFF had a blast running away from Natalie who had no idea that she was actually the T-Rex the boys were racing to escape.

After New Friend left, Jack was morose so we headed for the baseball diamond to pretend we were pirates searching for the perfect spot to bury our treasure.  As Jack explored the batting cage and Madam wandered through the outfield on a dandelion hunt, I noticed a dude parked in front of the field.  All alone.  Not on a cell phone.  Watching us.  Granted, I guess there are non-perv reasons he could have been parked there (reliving his glory days as a HS pitcher?  redesigning the field for the county?  waiting for his dealer?) but my spidey senses were atinglin' and this mama bear wanted her cubs closer, just in case.  Jack protested loudly until I explained that it's very odd for an adult to be at a playground without kids and that we needed to stick together in case he wasn't a safe stranger.  After Jack pointed wildly and said, "That man in the black car, Mom?" pretty loudly, the dude pulled out and peeled off.  PA tags on the car.  Not illegal for a grown man from another state to be hanging at a small local park but not exactly normal either.

While we played superman on the swings, a woman pulled up so that her elderly Dad could use the port-a-potty.  She sets 2 giant dogs loose from the back seat and then yells, "Are your kids afraid of dogs?"  Umm, it's a little late to ask now, asshole, and does the fact that they have climbed my legs like squirrels up a tree answer your question?  I waited a few beats and said, "Yes.  They are."  Does she call the animals back to the car?  Not immediately.  Instead she says, "Well, they are very friendly."  Like that excuses her from leash laws.  Like that is going to bring comfort to my 2 year old who was attacked by a neighbor's dog last summer.  I didn't say anything to that ludicrous statement so she sighed and called the mutts back to the car like we were the ones who didn't belong.  Seriously, it's a PLAYGROUND for CHILDREN, not a dog park so take your walking sacks of shit back to the car and head on down the road where there is an actual park for DOGS where they can shit and bite to their hearts' delight.

Strike 3:  some chick rolls up in her BMW, sits down on a bench next to the slide where my guys are playing and lights a cigarette.  A CIGARETTE!!!  Of all the places in the world to take a smoke break, she picks a populated playground?  Have they redefined the word "playground" and I don't know b/c they didn't announce it on Noggin?  Miss Lung Cancer was the final straw so I gathered the troops, explained loudly to the kids that cigarettes are a disgusting, rude habit and herded them off to the van.  To make it easier to get them to leave, I might have mentioned that I saw a bug flying near the slide.  ;-)  Today was one of those days when I wish we had the backyard playground that I've sworn we'll never own.