Sunday, May 25, 2008

Birds do it. Bees do it.

Even educated fleas do it.  You know what, so do teenagers, drug addicts, welfare recipients and lots of people who don't even want to do it.  So why can't I?  Why can't I get pregnant?

Day 29 and no AF in sight.  Major migraine, though, so off to Rite Aid I went for a HPT since my migraine meds cause birth defects.  Big.  Fat.  NEGATIVE.  $12.99 down the drain along with my dwindling faith that there is a just balance in the universe.

Last month's cycle was 23 days.  This month's is 29 days and counting.  Yes, I know, I'm fully aware of the fact that stress has a big impact on a woman's body.  Well, I've been a whirling dervish of stress and anxiety since I slipped out of my mother's birth canal all those years ago so that theory doesn't hold a lot of weight with me right now.  Fuck.  Fuck.  Fucking.  Fuck.  Oh well, I guess I'm cleared to take an Imitrex and wash it down with a margarita if I so choose.  See, there I go, looking on the bright side again.  That's me, a regular Polly fucking Anna.  I should write a self-help book, get Oprah to pimp it out for me and then make millions so I can buy a baby.  That's probably the only way I'm getting one at the rate I'm going.  Goddamn 35 year old defective uterus.  If only it came with an extended warranty.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Aww Christy, I'm so sorry it's still not happening for you.
After 2 years of trying we gave up and bought a dog - damn if less than a month later I wasn't pregnant! Not saying you want a furball in your house but it is very true that letting it go and relieving the stress helps aid conception. Daily sex doesn't hurt either :) Plus it's a good stress relief.

**Just found your blog BTW, love reading your stuff - and Jack's quite a skillful builder.

Miss you!