So Have I Mentioned That I Hate Dogs?

Pretty sure I have but in case you forgot here goes:

I HATE DOGS.

And guess what? My next-door neighbors got one. Awesome.

I saw it for the first time during the big snowstorm. I had the kids out front and was standing in the driveway with Bonnie. Natalie saw the dog and headed for the hills (literally as the snow plow had created huge piles of icy white stuff.) Girlfriend is terrified of dogs and rightly so after the Weimaraner across the street tried to kill her a couple of years ago.

Neighbor Lady, who usually passes us like we are invisible, stopped to say, "Look! It's her first snowstorm!"

Wow, how thrilling. It was Bon's too but you don't see me crowing to strangers about it. Idiot.

I wondered if (hoped!) it was going to be a house dog which seems impossible for a dog the size of a German Shepherd but anything is possible. Once again, hope let me down because a fence is going up as I type.

Dog is little right now. I guess it's cute if you are into that kind of thing. I, most emphatically, am not.

It's not going to stay a little creature. It will, in fact, grow to be a monstrous creature. Does that fence look big enough to hold a large animal back? My doubt has me considering puppycide. I'd rather have dog blood on my hands than see my child with stitches or worse if Cujo decides to come over and play.

Even if that joke of a fence does prevent it from leaping over onto our property, it can stick it's stupid, ugly, drooling head through the rails to leer at us. It's going to bark and bark and BARK whenever it wants. Definitely when we play out there. Which will probably be NEVER if my canine-phobic daughter has something to say about it. And when has she not had something to say about anything? Super fun times for us.

Don't even mention it shitting in my yard. My blood pressure is rising as it is.

When my neighbors across the street moved in with their big dog, they immediately built one of those huge privacy fences. You know, the kind that actually prevents dogs from not only getting out but also from seeing out or being seen. Why couldn't these cheapass people next door have been courteous like that?

Now I know, I know, they have the right to have whatever pet they want. I, too, have rights though. The right to enjoy my deck. The right to let my children play freely and safely in their own yard without being menaced. The right to peace and quiet. The right to have no dog feces on my lawn. The first time my rights are violated and every time thereafter, I will be aknockin'.

Hey, weird neighbors. Nice to finally meetcha. Now shut that shit up. Or I'll do it for you.

Capiche?