Okay, actually God and I are and have been cool with each other all along so that was misleading. Perhaps I shouldn't speak for Him though so I'll say I'm totally cool with him. My spiritual angst is because of the dark underbelly of organized religion, not because God and I broke up.
After yet another debacle with that stinking public school, though, I'm feeling really ready to reconcile with the Catholic Church. Even though I have always thought that getting back together after a break-up never works out well. Even though I'd have to go back to pretending that it's okay how they treat women like second class citizens and that I'm cool with how they lie about the magic of prayer. I mean, if you get right down to it, society in general is guilty of the first and all religions are guilty of the second, not just my formerly beloved brethren.
Right, maybe I'm not totally on board with holding a vow renewal ceremony but I'd love to start with a casual first date. One that involves my children enrolled in the local Catholic school.
I just don't know how to make that happen. At least, not without selling drugs. Or putting the baby in daycare. Or selling the baby.
I really, really, REALLY don't want to sell the baby but I also don't want to put her in daycare. Oh, and I don't want to sell drugs either. Nancy Botwin I am not.
There is no way we can afford tuition. I keep saying that even though I don't know how much tuition actually is. I'm assuming it's more than $10/month so yeah, it's safe to say that we can't afford it. Even though my kids would be safer there. Even though it would be a better fit for our family. Even though Natalie would look ADORABLE in this:
The parish school's website doesn't list tuition. That's ominous.
I'm calling tomorrow to find out the rate for 2 kids. I have a feeling there will be either stunned silence or laughter tinged with hysteria on my side of the conversation.
Oh well, a girl can dream, can't she? Especially a girl who once upon a time, loved her Catholic school so much that she went in on her days off to help a teacher with classroom work. A girl who enjoyed "Secret Santa" at the Christmas party, not "Secret Person" at the winter party.
I miss that girl. I want my kids to be like her and I just don't see it happening if they are Publics.
"Secret Person" sounds stalkerish. Or like some makeout-in-a-closet-with-a-stranger-at-a-party game that is a gateway on the path to rainbow parties.
I know that the kids in public high school aren't having sex on the library tables and shooting up on the front steps. Intellectually, I know that. My Crazy doesn't really believe it though. Nope, doesn't believe it at all.
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