Say cheese!

We're at the shore for the next week.  Six glorious days of beach and boardwalk fun, all of which I will capture with my beloved Rebel.  I packed my lenses as carefully as I buckled my children into their safety seats.

I know I'm a bit obsessive when it comes to photographing memories as they happen.  Last time we were on the beach, my Gram said, "Christy, just sit down and ENJOY them!"  Yesterday at the kids' birthday party, someone said, "Oh boy, there she goes again with the camera."  which is a fair statement but made me feel as bad as I did in high school when someone would sarcastically say, "Stop talking so much, Christy" to point out how quiet I was.  Like my shyness, I can't help my shutterbug ways.  People might think it's nuts but then again, they might not know what it's like to have nothing but pictures left when you lose someone you love.

My parents were pretty haphazard with their camera.  There are lots of baby pictures of my brother and me but after our first few years of life, the occasions they deemed picture-worthy dwindled to birthdays and Christmas.  There are huge chunks of time that went unphotographed and are therefore lost forever.  It kills me that those moments are forgotten, making it that much harder to keep them alive in my heart.  I'm greedy for any reminder of how Jon smiled, what Dad looked like when he sat down to play with us...millions and millions of moments that my parents didn't realize would be as precious as platinum and as hard to hold onto as fog.  I know, though, how hard it becomes to recall a face, a look, a smile so it is my self-appointed mission to capture all of the moments, big and small, and hope that they are always a supplement to the real thing b/c that would mean my precious ones are happy, healthy and in my life, not just in my heart.  Conversely, the pictures are a tribute to them to show them how very much I loved and cherished them in case I'm not around to show them myself.

I can't tell people the reasons behind my camera-crazy actions without looking even crazier.  Saying, "I take their pictures in case they die b/c I'll need to hold onto every single moment we had" sounds morbid at best and psycho at worst but that is the plain truth.  Seems like it would be self-evident but apparently not.   If that is so hard to understand, I'd say lucky, lucky you.