It has only been 3 weeks since I found out that I'm pregnant again. It feels more like 3 months. 3 years, if I give in to my drama queen nature, and yet not even a month has past. I'm only about halfway through the dreadful minefield that is the first trimester. I saw a heartbeat around this time last pregnancy and breathed a huge sigh of relief. Little did I know what would happen a month later. I'm tired of sitting, waiting, worrying, stressing, dwelling, wondering, hoping, freaking out. It's like time has slowed to a crawl. I am so exhausted that I spontaneously pass out on any available semi-soft surface. Is it a side effect of pregnancy? My normal narcoleptic response to extreme stress? A result of trying to be optimistic when by nature I am pessimistic? Actually, I prefer realistic but that is splitting hairs.
I wish I could slip into a medically induced coma for a while. I know it can be done since the neurologists did that to my father. I could pass the time in dreamless slumber and eat healthier via IV to boot. Seems like a win-win to me. Madam might disagree, of course, but that is to be expected.
Speaking of, her party is tomorrow. Not looking forward to it. We haven't told anyone about the baby and won't unless we make it to the 2nd trimester. I don't need to have Mom giving me The Worried Look and I also don't need platitudes and outdated advice from my Gram, bless her. As for some of the other guests, I'll tell them our joyful news when they get around to acknowledging that our last baby died so yeah, I guess I'll tell them right about...Never. I can hardly stand to look at them so you can imagine how happy I am to cook for them. Good times, good times, and I can't even wash down my rancor with a margarita.
1 comment:
I hope the Madam had a wonderful party!!
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