God Bless America, You Really Can Buy Anything

So, in thinking about the dog-walking asshole problem, I went through a few options. Fencing in the front yard would be pretty expensive and I shouldn't have to spend any more cash than I already spent on the ruined shoes. Sitting in the window and gunning down the offenders, while justified, would land me in the big house and I'm really looking forward to Natalie's school's spring show.

Hmmm, what's left...Maybe a sign? I wondered if regular people could buy signs like they have in parks. A quick internet search revealed that not only are signs available but you can take your pick of illustrations and phrases. Awesome!

Man, if I knew who was responsible and could enforce this, I'd be rich, beyotch!!!

Umm, yeah, I don't actually think your dog is cute. AT ALL. No false compliments will be forthcoming. Plus, I want to go a step further -- stay off the lawn entirely and there is nothing to clean up.

Too vague. These dumbasses may not understand how they should use their own lawn.

This gets right to the heart of it but seriously, there is a minivan in the driveway and toys out front. Kids obviously live in this house and these douchebags obviously don't care. Plus I really don't love the idea of a sign on my lawn that says poop and pee.

Okay, this is more like it...direct and commanding...

Oooh, I like this one even better because it IS about respect and the lack of it these dog owners are showing.

I don't have a dog, of course, but this made me laugh.

Ha! Not direct enough and the picture makes it look like I'm okay with pooping and scooping but regardless, that's just hilarious.

You can also order personalized signs with your own wording. Hmmm, I think I'd be breaking several laws if I put those choice words out front of my house.

Maybe I'll order them all and fashion them into a fence!