And in the cold light of day...

my terror has doubled.  A molar pregnancy produces hcg which gives one pregnancy symptoms and a positive test result.  What if my new doctor was wrong and it really was a molar?  What if the D&E didn't get everything and the mole is back?  Are there cancer cells growing as I type?

I was always a nervous mess while pregnant.  December was my worst fears realized with a new layer added in January when the old OB said it was molar.  So, I knew getting pregnant again would be frightening now that I know what it feels like to lose that precious gift but the damn mole scare has added a whole new set of worries.

Rather than stew about it, which is my specialty, I'm going to call my doctor's (slightly bitchy) nurse tomorrow and find out what tests I can have at this point to set my mind at ease.  Daily blood draws to measure my hcg production?  An ultrasound in a few weeks to make sure there is a baby and only a baby growing in there?  I really hope that they will work with me b/c I believe in the mind-body connection and my fears cannot be healthy for my pregnancy.  I just don't know how to be anything other than scared.  Fear is my siamese twin; we go everywhere together.