Call a Toe Truck

Jack broke his foot. Broke it six nights ago, to be exact. Can I just tell you how bad I feel about this poor kid walking on it since last Wednesday night? And how bad Tom feels because he fell on the foot (yes, fell on it) and caused the fracture in the first place? They were playing wild games which I asked them to "STOP BECAUSE SOMEBODY ALWAYS GETS HURT PLAYING ROUGH AT THE END OF THE DAY!" Sometimes being right REALLY sucks.

OMG, I mean, he was limping but not complaining so I figured a.) he is such a baby when it comes to pain that if it was really hurt, he'd be screaming bloody murder non-stop and b.) the limp was all part of his drama queen need to play things up. So, basically, the poor guy was damned if he did and damned if he didn't. When he didn't want to go to the boardwalk 2 days in a row, I should have thrown him in the van and driven him to the nearest ER then and there. Instead, I dragged him to the beach, up and down the stairs to the 3rd floor condo (!!!) and all over the damn island. Yep, I suck. Next time someone tells me I'm too protective, I'll laugh. Or cry. Depends where I am in my menstrual cycle.

The cast is on for 2 weeks. Two LONG weeks. Two "no taking a bath" weeks. Two "no going in the pool" weeks. Two "no visiting the playground" weeks. A broken foot isn't usually fatal but this one might kill us both.

To add insult to injury, his birthday party is scheduled for next Thursday. He hasn't realized that yet but it was my first thought when the doc said he'd need a cast. The dude probably thought my wide eyes and face drained of color was from sorrow and worry over my child's health when it was actually terror at the idea of how The Dynamic Duo will react if we have to cancel the party. Well, reschedule as there is no way I'm losing my deposit. It's unlikely he'll be able to go on the moonbounces in a cast, right? Well, he'd go on in a full body cast if I let him but the owners will probably not allow it. Killjoys.

I called the place and left a message asking what's what. I expect that we will have to reschedule, making the harsh task of breaking the postponement news to The Biggies my punishment for being a negligent mother. Damn. That's not American "slap on the wrist/5 years for murdering someone" justice. That's hardcore Islamic "cut off the hand for stealing" justice.

Speaking of legal matters, I was all set to take the kids right from the ped to the hospital for x-rays when Tom said he'd come home early so the girls wouldn't have to immerse themselves in the germ bath that is a hospital waiting area. Thank God because if I'd taken them all, I'm pretty sure that CPS would be paying me a visit in the next few days. Actually, maybe they would have taken the kids from me right then and there. Bon punched herself in the eye and looks like she lost a prize fight, Natalie's scalp is so red in spots it's practically sun poisoned (how do you protect the scalp from sunburn when the child suddenly refuses to wear a hat???) and Jack looks like he has leprosy from an allergic reaction to sunscreen along with the gimp foot. All I needed to do was roll up to the ER with that motley crew. I mean, put me in a wife beater, hand me a bottle of Jack Daniels and we could have been on the next episode of COPS.

I really am a good mother when I'm not completely oblivious to my child's broken limbs. I swear. I really am.

Natalie is pissed and wants a pink cast. Give me strength, Lord.