Birthday Suits

With barely 22 months separating them, Jack and Natalie have grown up like twins. Jack can't remember a time when The Madam wasn't with us. Since she arrived I've fed them, bathed them and put them to bed on the same schedule. They love being together and the "2 for 1" routine has worked well. Maybe a little too well as it turns out because they don't want to change the status quo.

For months now, I've been telling Jack that I need my privacy when I'm getting changed, going to the bathroom or showering. He's old enough to remember what he sees now and while I truly believe that one is born with one's sexual orientation already set, if anything could turn him gay it would be my poor, saggy boobs and cottage cheese butt. He gets impatient about this if a closed door keeps him from showing me his latest Lego creation RIGHT NOW but otherwise he respects my privacy. Not so with his sister, though -- he's all up in her bidness and she's like a child of the swinging '70's with her "the more, the merrier" attitude at bathtime.

I'm sure they have noticed the differences in their bodies but they seem completely uninterested. Jack mentioned Bonnie's "front butt" once and that is the extent of discussion on male parts vs. female parts. Anyone who knows my son knows how weird this is because if there is a topic to be discussed, Jack Tobin will dissect it and discuss the parts until everyone in the room is crying, throwing candy at him in a vain attempt at distraction or searching for duct tape to muzzle him. He just doesn't seem to care that he has a "peanuts" and his sisters have "badge-eye-nas" and Natalie couldn't care less either. That's fine, don't get me wrong, I'd be convinced that their seven months as roommates caused irreparable damage if we were having anatomy discussions over dinner and they were examining each other with flashlights and magnifying glasses but still...I wouldn't be me if I didn't find a reason to worry so you know...

Should they still be bathing together? I'm trying to break that habit without making a big deal out of it. I started with "Hey, you want to get a bath by yourself tonight?" which got me a "No, thanks" from The Boy while The Madam didn't even bother with words, hitting me with that withering "Bitch, you crazy" eye roll/sigh combo that she perfected around 9 months of age. I let it go for a few nights -- nothing makes the elder Miss Tobin dig in her heels like being told she can't do something -- then stepped it up a level by adding bubbles to sweeten the deal: "Hey, how about you get in the bath and I add princess bubbles! You can have your very own princess bath all to yourself because you know Jack will steal all the bubbles if he is in there." That worked until Jack moseyed past the tub, caught sight of the bubbles, dropped trou and cannonballed right into the bubble frenzy, causing shrieks of outrage from Natalicious because after all, hadn't I said he'd ruin her fun if he joined her? *sigh* Brought that trauma on myself, I sure did.

So what do I do? She's just 4, he'll be 6 at the end of next month. Do I let them keep frolicking around like Adam and Eve before they ate the apple or do I really push the issue and risk giving them body issues? Whatever I do, I don't want them to make them feel like their bodies are bad/wrong/dirty/whatever and should be shrouded in darkness and secrecy at all times, kwim? If I enforce the solo bath rule, does that include Bon? Jack hopped in with her tonight to her delight. There she was, flat on her back and splashing away with her "front butt" right in his face. He was too busy tickling her neck to notice. If he can't bathe with her, can Natalie or is that a double standard that they can be naked together because they are the same gender? Good Lord, I'm so concerned with messing up their psyches that I'm bound to do it anyway.