What's Next, Dora the Explorer Touting the Benefits of Mirena?

I have avoided Miley Cyrus's "Party in the USA" song. Even though my college roommate told me I would love it. (Wrong.) Even though another friend said that Natalie would love it. (Sadly, probably right.) I'm still feeling like a bad mom for inadvertently introducing The Madam to Katy Perry and Pink so why add to my list of sins?

I don't listen to the radio much anyway (if you want to see me turn into one of those "when I was a kid..." senior citizen types, ask me what I think of today's music) so avoiding it hasn't been hard. It's not like I'm avoiding it like Muslims and pork products, I just don't want to be polluted with the sounds of Cyrus.

God forgive me, I know she's a child but I really cannot stand that chipmunk-like creature.

It's weird, my dislike of her. Weird but very, very strong.

Well, last night driving home from my midnight run to Toys R Us aka the fourth level of hell, I was vegging out to the radio when I realized I was listening to the song.

It was your typical generic pop song, nothing special about it when I heard her sing, "And the Jay-Z song was on..."

What?

Jay-Z?

In a song by Hannah Montana's alter ego?

That's just weird. Weird and wrong.

Now I know pop stars aren't babysitters (Thanks for telling us in case we forgot, Mr. Adam Lambert) but still, little girls all over the place are going to listen to Miley because of Hannah. So why the eff is Hannah pointing tweens and their little sisters in the direction of gangsta rap?

I love Jay-Z. Well, I did until he was all over the World Series with his Yankeeness and then I wanted to vomit on him and anyone associated with the Yankees frenzy (except my friend Alex for some reason.) So let me rephrase, I loved Jay-Z and I probably will again. Growing up where did, I know what he's saying. I'm a big girl. I'm allowed to listen and rap along without getting my mouth washed out. I'm on the periphery of his target audience unlike Miley's followers. Unlike Natalie.

She may have 99 problems but a bitch definitely ain't one.

*sigh* Maybe I'm naive. Maybe little Suzy hanging out at Claire's boutique knows all about bitches and hos (and calls her mother those words regularly.) I just thought it was weird that with all of the music out there, Miley went with a hard-core rapper and the train wreck that is Ms. Spears when she chose who to name-drop.

So yeah, Girlfriend and I won't be downloading the song anytime soon. Not because of Jay-Z (eff the Yankees!!!) but because it's barely mediocre.

I got 99 problems and a teething baby is definitely one.