Ummmm. NO.
Okay, where to begin?
I went through 16 years of Catholic school. I don't remember alternate holidays being covered In A Big Way but somewhere along the line I learned about Hanukkah and later, Kwanzaa. At no point did the Catholic priests, nuns or teachers EVER indicate that the people celebrating those holidays were, well, irregular. (So suck it, people who think Catholics are small-minded bigots!) Jack, the first person in our family to attend public school, comes home with the notion that only Others don't celebrate Christmas. What the HELL? Shouldn't public school make him more open-minded rather than less?
He said it very matter-of-factly. No judgement. He's just 6, after all, taking everything at face value and happy to share any and all new knowledge.
Then there's me, desperate to undo the "us versus them" mentality that seems to have developed in his young mind as a result of whatever was covered in class. Why? Two reasons. 1 -- he's got wrong information and I don't want it sticking and 2 -- that kind of thinking makes me look bad. I know, I know, it's not all about me but if he's spewing some kind of bigoted malarkey then it reflects on his parents and I don't want people looking at me like I'm Grand Dragon or Hitler or something.
SO. What did I say? I think it went something like, "Jack, honey, we're all regular Americans. Hanukkah is for people of the Jewish religion. It is celebrated by people all over the world, not just in America, and it's a way of believing in God that is a little different than what you learned in preschool. Kwanzaa celebrates African culture for people whose ancestors were born in Africa. Kind of like St. Patrick's Day for Irish families. Not all African Americans celebrate Kwanzaa, many celebrate Christmas, some celebrate Hannukah and some even celebrate a couple of them."
I have no fricking clue if I'm even right about Kwanzaa. I don't think there's a religion involved but maybe there is. On second thought, maybe my teachers didn't do such a bang-up job of covering other holidays.
Whatever, I guess that was good enough. He seemed satisfied and Lord knows he would have kept badgering me until his questions were answered if he wasn't.
Now I have to figure out how to tackle the bigger topic of race. It's a minefield and I have no bomb-sniffing dogs to help me.
We don't talk about skin color in our house. I don't know why, we just don't. It's not important to me, what you are, so it's not something to discuss. I've never wanted my kids to focus on differences, pigeonhole their friends, neighbors, people on the street into categories. Maybe that was the wrong approach. Maybe by ignoring the topic, I did exactly what I didn't want to do and made people who don't look like us into Others.
Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
So, what now? I'm kind of at a loss so I'll do what I always do when a topic stumps me -- research, research, research. I'll see what articles I can find, what books I can read to The Buds that will celebrate the differences in the people around us rather than expecting them to accept what they see without explanation.
Is that the right approach? *sigh* I don't know. I'm flying blind. As usual.
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