Fabulously Five

Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. The Madam will be five years old in a few short hours.

As befits royalty, celebutantes and fiercely loved little girls, Natalie will ring in her fifth birthday with several celebrations beginning last weekend with her Tobin relatives and culminating in a party with her friends at one of those godforsaken bounce places.

Five years old.

Wow.

I remember 5 feeling like a Big Birthday with Jack and I'm feeling it even more with The Madam.

Five...so far from babyhood, so close to big-kid-ness. I feel like laughing and crying just thinking about how mature my first baby girl has gotten and how far she has come in 5 short years.

When I woke up in a haze of pain and Percocet the night she was born and found her staring oh-so-intently at me, I should have known that I was in for quite a ride. She may not have really been able to see me but she knew I was there and she pretty much hasn't taken her eyes off me since that moment. The Madam remains my #1 Fan to this day.

Looking back on her early days, Holy Hannah, those were some crazy times. Girlfriend and I were attached every way but surgically. Baby swing? Nah. Bouncy chair? Don't even think about it. Floor mat? Oh HELL no. If I dared to hand her to someone else or, God forbid, put her down, there was LOTS of this:

I'm not sure how many times I called Tom at work her first year, threatening to sell her to gypsies. I'd guess it was at least 1,649,318x's. That might have been just the first six months though. We'll just say it was a pretty common occurence. And he thought I was kidding.

I wasn't.

As *ahem* quick to express her dissatisfaction as she was, Natalie's earlier years weren't all bad. Far from it, actually. She needed me fiercely, loved me completely and rewarded my patience with smiles so bright they would put the sun to shame.

I worried when I was pregnant with her that I wouldn't be able to love her like I loved my darling first born. I wondered if her milestones would seem old hat since I'd been there, done that once already.

As any mother with more than one child well knows, my fears were groundless. I rejoiced in every new achievement, big or small, and I look forward to cheering for all of the accomplishments still to come.

When Natalie is happy, you can't imagine a brighter smile. She can radiate with the sheer joy of something as simple as a new dress, baking cookies or a "big girls only" adventure like going to the supermarket.

But when Natalie is not happy, well, stand back is the best advice I can give you. I've seen grown men quail under the weight of her glare. Can you blame them?

She is a wonderful little sister, only sometimes flouncing off and shouting, "TOO MANY RULES!"

And she is the greatest big sister in the history of sisterhood, sometimes bringing me to tears over the depth and generosity of her love for "her baby".

Funky, fierce, fantastic, fiery, fancy and fabulous, The Madam is a force to be reckoned with. Hand over the accessories, the shinier the better, and nobody gets hurt.

My sweet girl, my bright angel, how I love you so . You challenge me, you inspire me, you crack me up like nobody else can. How did I get so lucky? It humbles me that God or the universe or whatever determined that I was fit to be mother to an amazing little girl like you. Thank you, my precious, for keeping life interesting always and for loving me even when I have to remind you that you are a 5 year old little girl, not the 30 year old jet setter you think you are.

I wish all things grand for you, my Madam. You deserve nothing less and Lord knows you won't settle for having it any other way.

May you always believe in your own awesomeness like you do today. If you forget, don't worry. I'll be happy to remind you. After all, I'm your #1 fan just like you're mine.