You Down with CRE, Yeah, You Know Me...

C:  Come on, Jack.  We have to work on your Reconciliation book because you have class in a few hours.


J, panicky:  I do?  Am I making my Reconciliation today???


C:  No, bud.  It's just prep class.  You don't make it until December.


J, relieved:  Oh that's good.  I really don't feel prepared.

*sigh*

I have the world's most neurotic 8 year old.

I knew when I very reluctantly signed the kids up for CRE (Catholic Religious Brainwashing Education) that I was opening a can of worms since a.) I don't believe any of that hooey anymore and b.) we don't go to church which is kind of a huge thing for Catholics.

Mr. Jack Tobin is nothing if not a big fan of rules and going to church is a big fat rule.

Still, I signed them up anyway, mostly to get my very Catholic and very vocal Gram, very Catholic and quietly vocal Aunt and very-Catholic-at-least-on-paper and very-vocal-without-actually-saying-a-word Mom off my back.

16 years of Catholic school taught me to say yes and go along with anything except boys.  Well, mostly.

Anyway, I knew it was important to them that my kids be indoctrinated so I very begrudgingly handed over a wad of cash and presto-chango, my little pagans are now on the road to being nominal Catholics just like their dear old Mom and Dad.

Natalie was an easy sell.  All I had to do was tell her that she'd get to wear a fancy white dress and veil and she was in like Flynn.  What I neglected to mention was that she wouldn't get to wear it the first night.  She was pissed but got over it when she found out an old friend from preschool was in her class.

Her big takeaway from CRE thus far:  Mom, did you know that the devil can come in all different shapes and animal types???

No, sweetie, I didn't know the devil was one of the Wonder Twins.  How fascinating.

It was tougher to convince Jack to go.  He hates his long school day and was not in love with the idea of tacking more classroom time onto the end of every Monday.  He caved when I explained that it was important to Grammy (God forgive me for playing on his gentle heart) and that it wouldn't be forever, just a few years.

Once he got into class, he liked it.  I have no idea why since neither of them will tell me anything that happens in class but they are both happy and seem unmolested so far so I'm not pressing them for info.

Reconciliation may be a game changer for the boy.  I hoped that the beginning years of CRE would focus on Sunshine-and-Rainbows Jesus for a while but second grade is the time for making Reconciliation and First Communion and I guess there's no way to avoid sin talk.  Can't be forgiven if you don't own up to what you did wrong.

Jack is now obsessed with sin.  It's kind of cool that he's self-correcting, freeing up a bit of my time I'd normally reserve for reminding him not to complain or yell at the girls, but completely uncool that he's fixated on his "wrongs".

Seriously, he's 8.  How much can an 8 year old do wrong?

A lot, apparently, at least in his own eyes.  He's drawing up lists of what he will confess when he gets in the booth for the first time.  I've tried to explain that he has done very little wrong in his life and that he only needs to hit the highlights.  He doesn't believe me.

They say confession is good for the soul and if that's true, The Boy's soul will be feeling very, very good.

All I can say is, I hope the priest hits the bathroom before he gets to Church that night because he's going to be there for awhile.