Still Breaking the News

Wow, I know.  Long time, no blog.  Just haven't been feeling it.  Too much going on, too little time.

Tonight, though, I'm feeling inspired.  An old neighbor friended me on Facebook.  This boy -- actually a man now! -- was several years ahead of me in school.  We never interacted.  I was afraid of his brother and in awe of him.  I think I went to his going-away block party when he joined the Coast Guard but that was decades ago and memories have a way of warping so maybe I did or maybe the block party in the driveway was something else entirely.

*ahem*  Anyway, I digress (as usual).  He saw me post on a mutual friend's page and as a result, sent me a friend request.  Figuring he probably wasn't a pedophile intent on learning my location and stealing my children, I accepted his request.  He immediately sent me a private message, telling me how lovely my children are (he's obviously very wise) and asking how my mom and dad are.

My...what?  Sure, my mom but...my dad?

Whoa.

Okay, we were neighbors in the 80's and maybe 90's.  Like I said, he was older than me and we weren't friends.  Maybe his family moved away from the old neighborhood before mine did and he didn't hear about The Big Terrible Tragedies that the McGowans endured so he innocently asked about my family.

You know what?

I loved it.

This topic that is So Big and So Scary to people who were there, he had no idea and threw it out there like it's no big deal because to him, it wasn't.

Of course he wouldn't have mentioned Dad if he'd know what happened with him and Jon.  Wild horses couldn't drag their names off the tongues of most people and I totally get why.  This former neighbor, though, he thought everyone was alive and well so he asked the question without realizing the minefield in which the answer resided.  It was a great reminder for me that The Big Terrible Tragedies that are always at the edge of my mind are smaller than they feel.  Not everyone knows.  Not everyone cares.  That's okay.  That's how it should be because while I am the star of my own show, I'm not the center of the universe.

My favorite part of this whole crazy thing is the newfound realization that there are people who knew my Dad and my brother but are unaware that they died.  Unlike me, they haven't missed them all these years because they didn't know they are gone.  Instead, in the heads of those who don't know, Dad and Jon have been out there somewhere all this time and in a small weird way, because of that my guys remain alive, at least in those people's minds.  Sure, those people may not think of them once a day or even once a year but when they do, Dad and Jon are alive and well, living an ordinary life like the rest of us.

What a bizarre but beautiful thought.  It makes me really happy and if life has taught me anything it's that we should grab happiness by the fistful wherever we can find it.

Here's to old acquaintances becoming new friends, never forgetting where you came from and celebrating whatever joys one might find along the road of life.